If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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