; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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