TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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