im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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