Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
