Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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