can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
