Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
