I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
