Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
