I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
