So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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