I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
