I want to walk on stilts...naked
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
