Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
