I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize