Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
