It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You can't just leave with hair like that
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm too high and old for this...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
