One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
