you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
