yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i barfeds in our rink
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
