shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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