Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
