I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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