lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
