I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
