After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nicole vs. Life
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
