If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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