She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
