Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
