her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
