I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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