did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
