ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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