You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
