I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
