Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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