just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
