I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize