i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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