You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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