I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
