as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
