My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
