they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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