He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
