You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
