So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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