More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
