He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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