My liver just broke up with me...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
