Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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