The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
