im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
