Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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