It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
