frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize