Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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