I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
