dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
